Roz Land

Well, here we are back at the mountain, and I think I will keep this short and sweet and to the point ... FOR A CHANGE!

Here's the scoop:

• It's a LOT warmer....low 80's today, but breezy and beautiful!
• We think "someone" has been visiting as one of my birdfeeders was about 20 feet away from the tree it was hanging on, and another one was on the ground. Some of Henry's things were knocked over, too.  
• About 20 trees have fallen since we were here...huge aspens and pines....we think because the forest is now a lot thinner than it was, the wind must have gotten up A LOT and because the roots are shallow, they toppled over.
• They are now finishing up sheetrocking...
• Have to make a huge decision re the flooring...wood floor or carpet and tile--- wood is so expensive and hard to get out here. 
• Now I see where I wish I had put wall lamps/sconces...
• Got to go into town to stock up on groceries--- cooking for the guys Wed night.

OK for now...gotta do dishes....

Roz

Well, blame it on the altitude or SOMETHING, but I woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. wide awake and ready to go!  I opened the blinds and was amazed that the sun was already pretty much up, and all the little forest creatures were running around.  Can't remember last time I was up that early for NO REASON.  So, while Henry continued to snore, I made a pot of coffee, pulled my wool socks on (after noticing it was 57 degrees IN the motorhome, and 36 outside), a denim shirt over my T-shirt and fuzzy pj pants, and a coat --- took my mug, camera and book up to the deck of the house and sat there in total silence for a bit. 

It was simply amazing... At FIRST I thought there was dead silence and calm, but the more I listened and the more I looked, it changed.  A slight breeze was rustling through the new aspen leaves, and almost sounded like running water.  Birds and chipmunks were darting here and there and making their little cheaping noises... Two little hummingbirds were zinging around and almost joined me on the deck until I moved and scared them off.  I realized that in what I THOUGHT was silence, there is a world of sounds and movements.  I watched chipmunks and squirrels run from here to there as fast as they could...all the while watching for whatever it is they watch for.  Two were playing King of the Hill on a big mound of rock just below the deck---and of course, the bigger one won the competition. 

I got the first 3 chapters of a new book I just started by Barbara Kingsolver called "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle", which by the way, has started out GREAT!  Love it so far!  It's about how the world has become so dependent on processed foods and massive farms feeding us stuff that we can't even pronounce, and how that's happened.  She, with her 2 daughters and husband, moved from Tucson to a farm in southern Appalachia to live off the land and grow everything they eat.  This intrigues me, because I love to garden and grow veggies, etc., and I agree with her in that kids need to know that food comes from THE GROUND, and not the grocery store shelf.  That's one thing I hope to share with Kate --- how to grow things yourself, and enjoy doing it! 

Anyway--- I sat for a while and just enjoyed God's artistic handiwork around me, talked to Him for a while, and communed with nature!

Try it some time---- it is refreshing and renewing and just makes you feel good about your day!

And now---- MORE COFFEE!!!!

Well, here we are, back at Lonestar Ranch.  Because there seems to be a lack of things to do in a BUSINESS-RELATED way, I spent most of yesterday watching birds and chipmunks on the bird-feeder, and taking photos.  Didn't think I would ever go there, but since things were not happening over the weekend at the HOUSE, I had to have SOMETHING to do!  I bought a bird-watching guide for New Mexico and so far have identified about 6 different birds that have been eating at the feeder we hung.  And after waiting and watching all day, I was finally able to get a photo of a hummingbird at the feeder!  There's lots of them around, because I have learned what they sound like and that whistling noise is abundant on the mountain!  How exciting! 

I did take the time to go to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Angel Fire and take photos of that, which I posted to one of the Flickr groups I joined.  Lots of people there, and it was a beautiful day!

Today, it's supposed to be warmer on the mountain, and that's all well and fine, but the wind is blowing like crazy, so according to our temp gauge outside, it is officially 58 degrees out there not counting wind chill.  But the sun is shining and there are no clouds in the sky, so I am fixing to get out there and do SOMETHING...even if it's just picking up trash that is blowing from the building site to down the mountain.  We tried to have a nice fire in the firepit last night, after grilling BBQ chicken on the grill, but THAT didn't happen either, because as soon as we would sit down, the smoke would engulf us and run us off.  How do people sit by a fire and not get run off?  Oh well, we can always try again tonight. 

Tomorrow we have an appt with a bank in Raton, so that will be a nice trip and something different to do. 

OK gotta go----- check out all the photos I took yesterday at  www.flickr.com/photos/rozgarland/

Later......

I kind of feel like God today....by that I mean, I have been traipsing around in the forest today at Lone Star Ranch deciding which trees stay and which trees get taken out.  Tying on a piece of orange tape means it stays --- no tape means it goes.  Which is kind of sad, really.  I mean, we came to the mountain for the views and fresh air, and cooler climate and TREES!

Environmentalists would not like what we are doing....I don't think. Maybe they would.  But here's the deal. On our 10 acres of land, there were LOTS of fallen, dead and diseased trees and stumps.  So many that you could not even drive a 6-wheeler Polaris thru most of it.  Lots of scrubby underbrush, and fallen limbs.  In order to comply with the FireWise Community regulations, which uses a formula to decide how far apart tree tops must be to avoid forest fires leaping from tree to tree, our land needed to be thinned.  Not only has it made our property more "open" and created bigger views of the mountains around us, but it has made it safer and less of a fire hazard. 

But I did feel bad walking from tree to tree thinking, "Ok, you can live, and you have to die."  I caught myself feeling sorry for the trees and attaching human emotions to them, as if they were saying "Hey Roz! Save me! Save me! I don't want to get crunched up!"  So, looking across the property right now, there is a sea of orange tape fluttering in the wind.  Henry tried talking me out of saving some of them, but I stood pretty firm. 

And another plus, is the Cimarron Watershed Commission who funds this whole thing (yes, it's free to us) has even offered to go in and seed the whole lot with high altitude grass seed mixed with some wildflowers.  That will pretty it up even more.  THey also told us that turning the soil will expedite the natural process of decay and is good for the soil.

The attached photo is the monster machine that is going thru and crunching up the dead stuff...I mean, it evens pulverizes boulders and big stumps like it is nothing.  I guess if I were a baby tree looking at that thing coming for me, I would be shaking down to my roots. 

It's the biggest Rototiller I have ever seen!  Henry was just itching to climb up there and drive the thing!  I tend to steer clear of anything that has tires that are taller than I am!

All I can say is..."Sorry little trees!" 

To Tree or Not to Tree....THAT IS THE QUESTION!

I haven't posted anything in a while because I just didn't want to, and couldn't think of anything to write about that wasn't full of negativity. 

These hot flashes are driving me insane...like yesterday, I no sooner had put on my makeup in the morning for work, did my hair, and before I got to my car, I was wringing wet and my makeup was a nice gooey mixture of sweat and powder.  The mood swings are no better. I am constantly on the edge of tears, and it takes very little to set off my temper.  I tend to obsess about things and negative things have a much greater impact on my attitude and feelings than ever before.  I feel sad and alone much of the time.  I feel like I can't do anything right, or good enough, and no one is in my corner.  My kids have their own lives and don't have time for me, and my hubby is involved deeply in his business and church related stuff... I am not a priority to anyone.

OK-- so take hormones.  Nope.  Don't wanna.  I have heard so many things about the side effects of THOSE THINGS (primarily gaining weight) that I don't even want to go there. I just keep thinking that I can wait it out...that sooner (please!) or later it will be done and over with.  Not happening....

My birthday came and went without much hurrah...At least we met Brad and Jenny and KATE for dinner that night, and that was a good present!   Here's how the rest of it went:  3 birthday cards from companies wanting my business, 2 cards from people at church that I don't even really know,  1 card from son & family, nothing from my daughter, church friends, or co-workers and a Walmart gift card and some perfume I have never heard of from my husband; and my mom was in the hospital after a big surgery.  There just aren't that many opportunities thru out the year to tell someone they are special to you, and I just think that a birthday trumps Mother's Day, Christmas, Valentines, and the other few "gift-giving" chances people get.  And WHY should that be limited to just a few certain calendar days....it would be different if just spontaneously people went out of their way to surprise you with a gift, or SOMETHING, but that rarely happens either... 

Don't get me wrong. I have a great life, for the most part.  Great kids, great husband, great family --- we are blessed in so many ways, financially and otherwise.... So I DO feel bad for going on about this.  But does it really hurt someone to remember someone that is supposed to be special to them on their freakin' birthday????

See what I mean....I think the menopause blues have hit full force and this depression is a deepening rut that is hard to climb out of.  Oh well, all I have to do is to listen to some of my friend's stories about THEIR family issues, and I do feel better!

Hormones...you may just become a friend really soon.